Fancy Talks and Russian Picnics

An eventful weekend transpired, beginning with a 4 hour talk at a high end hotel starring our very own, Fritz, as the guest speaker.  About 3 months ago, Fritz was connected to a group of wealthy Russian businessmen who enjoy hosting courses on various topics given by established academics.  They asked him to give 2 lectures, 2 hours each this past Friday and Saturday evening.  However, the day before the first talk, the leader of the group contacted Fritz and requested a schedule change where Fritz would present both lectures on Friday night, rather than splitting them across 2 days.  Despite the rapid onset of a nasty head cold, Fritz accepted this last minute change in plans.  

Friday evening, Fritz arrived at the Hotel Baltschug Kempinski, a 5 star luxury hotel directly across the river from the Kremlin.  Pretending not to have a low-grade fever, Professor Bartel began the longest lecture he has yet given - "The Triumph of Broken Promises: Globalization and The End of The Cold War".  Not 20 minutes into the talk, a hotel employee entered the conference room and instructed the group that they were to stay in the room and refrain from using the balcony for a few minutes until after President Putin's helicopter landed inside the Kremlin.  I'm sure over the course of his teaching career, Fritz will be interrupted many times and for many different reasons, but I have to wonder what, if anything, will top the interruption of President Putin's helicopter.  

A short break was scheduled for halfway through the lecture.  I arrived at the hotel around 7pm hoping I might be able to sit in on the second half of Fritz's talk.  I like to watch him speak whenever I am able.  Fritz sent a short message during the 15 minute break and it was apparent this was not the kind of talk I could casually drop in on.  Fortunately, they had a lovely lobby with a bar, sushi/caviar counter, and cafe.  I settled in with my book and ordered a cup of tea along with a cheese plate to nibble on while waiting for Fritz.  

I think this cheese plate was intended to feed at least 3 people

Baltschug Lobby 

I was expecting Fritz to finish by 9:15, but at 9:30 there was still no sign of him or the group to whom he was presenting.  Finally, at quarter to 10, he emerged looking a bit dazed and as if he had left the last of his mind in the conference room.  The last two weeks had been a mad dash to maximize his time in the archive while simultaneously compiling the longest talk of his professional life.  And now at 9:45 on a Friday night, it was clear that he was spent.  He sunk into the lobby couch, ordered a beer, and mindlessly munched some peanuts while a fog of exhaustion moved in.  

Outside the Baltschug with the Kremlin in the background.

Fritz finished his beer, I wrapped the remaining uneaten cheese in a paper towel I got from the bathroom (no cheese left behind!), and we went outside to catch an Uber home... but not before accepting a generous invitation from Nathan, one of the people attending Fritz's lecture, to a summer Lobster Fest the following day.  

The next morning, Fritz and I woke up and prepared for this annual summer picnic.  Nathan is an American who originally hails from Nebraska and now works for the Canadian Chamber of Commerce.  The picnic was for the Canada-Eurasia-Russia Business Association and took place at a beautiful hotel in the countryside one hour outside Moscow.  Nathan had his driver come to pick us up, though he warned us it might be a bit crowded in his Mercedes E-class because he had also invited Vera, the personal secretary to Vladislav Tretiak, former goaltender to the Soviet Union National ice hockey team and considered to be one of the greatest goaltenders in the history of the sport.  

So, at 1pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon, Fritz and I squished into the back of a gray Mercedes next to Vera and proceeded to drive through Moscow traffic while Nathan told us one crazy story after another of his visits to the Soviet Union in the late 80s and early 90s.  This gregarious, mostly bald, cowboy hat-wearing Midwesterner was so animated while sharing his tales of KGB encounters that his driver had to remind him not to wave his hands in his face while he was weaving in and out of heavy traffic.  As a side note, the majority of Moscow drivers are extremely aggressive, and I leave most vehicles both car sick and also thankful for my life.  

Vera, Nathan, Fritz, and Amanda

Before leaving this vehicle, we had to be admitted through a gate outside the hotel - a grand yellow building you could see on the edge of a hillside from a mile away.  

The Hotel.  Our picnic was outside down the hill from the main building.

No one was at the gate when we pulled up so Nathan's driver honked to announce our arrival.  A few seconds later a disgruntled armed guard arrived dressed in camouflage and carrying an intimidating automatic rifle.  Some contentious Russian words were exchanged between Nathan and the guard who eventually returned to his office to confirm whether or not we were authorized guests.  He returned with a much friendlier countenance and opened the gate wishing us a pleasant visit. 

I was grateful to get out of the car and stretch after an hour crunched in the middle seat.  We walked through the hotel lobby, down the back steps past a photography session for a Russian wedding, and over to an open field where 3 large tents were set up for this festive summer event.  During his welcome speech, Nathan announced that in addition to an abundance of food, there was also a volleyball net, soccer balls, pingpong, badminton, and two bikes that could be enjoyed.  A DJ entertained us most of the afternoon along with a professional singer from Tajikistan who sang three selections for our enjoyment during the meal. 

Heated pingpong competition

Fritz and I were on the list of special guests who could have half a lobster with our meal.

Fritz and his lobster

It was a fun-filled afternoon consisting of good food, a plethora of interesting conversations with the guests in attendance, and a future invitation to a co-ed banya.  What is a banya, you might ask?  Find out next week on A.B. Sees.